“Sometimes “No” is the Kindest word.”
– Vironika Tugaleva
Do you ever feel compelled to say yes?
Do you ever feel wrong for saying no?
Are there times you wished you said no instead of agreeing to everything that comes your way.
Yes, it’s good to give a helping hand, that part of you that always tries to reach out to someone in return.
The thought of saying no especially to our close circle or people, in general, could honestly be a tough one on us at times because we don’t want to see them feel disappointed or rejected. Maybe if you can see it as a way of setting your priorities right, and most times you have to realise, you can’t always be there for everyone one even when you wish to.
Why do you find it hard to say no?
i. You feel having to say no is the wrong thing to do.
ii. The guilt of you disappointing someone.
iii. You get scared or worried about the person’s reaction to the decision.
iv. The fear of risking a relationship.
v. You haven’t learnt that setting boundaries is a good part of your life’s growth and when it comes to having boundaries sometimes you have to say no.
Well, you might not yet be clear on why saying No sometimes is okay, but I guess knowing the result of using the word NO could be of help when dealing with people in different cases.
Why is it okay to say No?
i. It’s okay to say No because you can’t always fix everything.
ii. Saying no also show an ability to make the proper choices especially when you find yourself in situations that are complex to manage.
iii. When something doesn’t seem right to you or doesn’t settle well with you, just saying no could be the right thing to do.
iv. By saying no you give yourself peace of mind rather than feeling unsettled for saying otherwise.
v. It’s okay to say no because it will save you moments of regrets.
Ways to say No without hurting anyone.
Does these completely clear the chances of the other person getting hurt? No, because regardless of how you put your words rightly, some people don’t always want to take a No for an answer, but it’s good to learn how to build a mutual understanding by passing your message rightly.
1. Get rid of every Guilt
You, first of all, have to get rid of every guilt of not meeting up to what someone expected of you, do not feel wrong for not saying yes because it is okay to say no to situations you can’t handle.
2. Analyse the situation properly just before saying no
Think about the situation and see other ways you can help but if reaching out won’t be right for you then find a way to pass your message.
3. Construct your words thoroughly and be gentle.
Saying no doesn’t have to come with an insensitive response instead construct your words in a way the other person will understand the situation since your reason for saying no comes from a sincere place.
Saying “no” is a way of setting boundaries, not always trying to please someone else at the expense of your own choices, it checks your self-esteem that you know what you want at a given time.
“I hope you learn to be kind to everyone and most importantly, learn to say No when necessary. ” – Suzan Ejura