Endless regrets over what you could have done or what should have never happened are those feelings that linger much more than the time it took in making those choices.
I was talking with a friend some days back. While we discussed a few things that have happened these past months, he went further to tell me how so many of the friends he trusted always took him for granted, his actions or words never taken seriously. And that he wasn’t so much irritated with the way they treated him as much as he regrets never standing out for himself, speaking his mind, and setting boundaries. That took a turn on him, at some point affected his relationship. He struggled with the fear of being taking for granted until he released, he had to let go of his past experiences.
Regrets can be excruciating and overwhelming. But how much longer would you live in anguish when you can gradually let go and make the present you have right.
Sometimes, it could be our academic choices, relationship, marriages, how we handled a situation or maybe wishes that stems from being more than what we are at the moment.
One regret a friend once said is not being able to support his family financially at this point in his life. And if he had the chance to turn back the hands of time, he would have taken some opportunities or spent more time working on himself.
Regrets, on the other hand, is not always about the wrong things we have done but the right things we did for the wrong reasons, for the wrong people and at the wrong time.
Few regrets you could be having right now reading this:
- You wish you had done what you procrastinated for so long until you lost the opportunity to have your cake back.
- You wish you took more time to think about your decision before going into a relationship or marriage.
- You regret not daring to live a life of your own rather than living to keep up with the expectation of society.
- You wish you grew up in a better and happier home.
- You wish you spent more time with your family, kids, and friends.
- You wish you didn’t give up so easily on good friendships you had with some people, or maybe, you regret taking some things or people for granted.
- Maybe you regret staying in a bad marriage/relationship for so long that you lost the value of self.
- You regret not taking your health more seriously.
It’s hard to say no human has regrets or live with one or more regrets because the truth is we all make some wrong choices at some point in our lives.
But regrets never make things right. So instead of letting ourselves wallow in unhappiness over some events, we can no longer correct, or blame ourselves all day long. Maybe we can allow ourselves to see the light in every situation we have faced. And in the broader context, understand why we made those choices that have caused us so much pain and, in turn, see what needs to be improved to have a happier ending.
How do you heal from Regrets and make things right?
- Start living in the moment by taking those steps you failed to take in the past.
- Be more encouraged to be a better person each day. No one was born perfect; everything you see another man do is something they worked hard to be good at doing.
- Correcting some regrets may take years, months, or days and that’s why you have to be patient through the process.
It is okay to have regrets, but it’s never okay to let our disappointments determine and rule our future.