“I forgive myself, and then I move on. You can sit there forever, lamenting about how bad you’ve been, feeling guilty until you die, and not one tiny slice of that guilt will do anything to change a single thing in the past”. –WAYNE DYER
Growing as up as a young kid was exciting, little to worry about, not much to do and less work to manage when it comes to putting things together and having that little faith when things seemed unclear, but I guess things certainly change with time and yeah I am human too, different phases of life to conquer.
How would I live if I didn’t learn to forgive myself?
Right from the beginning, I knew I wanted to live to be better, but what I never knew was if I was going to live, first of all, I needed that sense of forgiveness for myself and everyone, especially the ones that are close to me.
Understanding and living by this took me through the most confusing situations.
Talk about things lingering in my mind for so long, worrying about the things that were not right, having to deal with being treated wrong, looking at that bully face to face and saying the words “I forgive you” and learning to be comfortable in my skin was the most difficult, saying to myself I love who you are!
I guess you will understand just how it felt like because you have been there too.
A feeling of disappointment clouded my mind because I was waking up to seeing someone different from what I already pictured.
Not to talk about how consistently I failed in several exams and quizzes, I could barely even read or join words together to make some sense, I made so many choices and decisions wrongly.
And I would sit down and wonder why I repeated some mistakes I thought I promised not to go back to, but sometimes it is beyond just promises, it is learning to forgive yourself as many times you wrong yourself.
And have you ever had that feeling of letting someone down? Yes, I felt that too.
But at some point how I felt didn’t matter anymore, what mattered the most was realising that I am human and had to let myself grow through those mistakes. And there is no growing outside learning to forgive.
But how has this helped me?
And yes, I know you will be interested in how it helped in forgiving others, but first, how did forgiving myself made me strong and better.
I assume you know how hurting it could be when what we get or how we live and what happens around us is different from what we expected.
But I figured out that I had to grow and those things showed me how strong I was and how better I can be regardless of what has happened.
- Forgiving myself and giving a chance to become better helped me to see the strength in mistakes, how?
A stronger and wiser person is born from every mistake when forgiveness is allowed.
- I began to see that there was nothing wrong with me and, mistakes are one life’s lessons, but to live I needed that sense to forgive.
- I began to see that the more chances I gave myself, the more I forgot about the unwise times, the more I got better and the more peace I found within me.
So all these brought me in a new chapter of understanding that ” To err is human and to forgive is divine”.
Forgiving someone that has hurt me was now even much easier also the liberation that comes with forgiveness.
Likewise, seeing the good in everyone and not defining them by what they have done became paramount.
When people wrong you, it doesn’t mean they are entirely bad people
Sometimes we push people away entirely because of how they have wronged us that was so hard for us to forgive, and here we are unable to see that these people could be the support we may need later in life, maybe not now but someday when they have grown past their mistakes and become a better person.
You can do same, yes you can forgive yourself for all the wrongs, failures, mistakes, abuse and lies.
And if you can forgive yourself, you will also get the courage to forgive another person no matter what they have done you can begin to see the light in everyone when you forgive.
Robert Muller said “To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness”.